Tag Archives: missing

Goodbyes

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So here I am. Looking from the window, as the sun is slowly descending. Everything seems beautiful. The short time I have spent here flashes before my eyes. I remember all the smiles I have shared, the good times I have spent, and all the things that made my day.

The noise is fading away, as it’s getting darker and darker. I am feeling nostalgic already. I don’t know if I want to stay any longer, I don’t even know if it matters. All I know is that I miss home; I miss home with all its imperfections, and it’s so far from being perfect.

I am happy I have not taken this place for granted; I cherish every moment I have stayed here, knowing that it is far from eternal. I have always expected a lot from people, and they have always let me down. It’s my fault setting high expectations, not theirs; and that I understand. It is very sad how we only want the things that we cannot have. But if we stop thinking of what we have and what we don’t, we may find happiness in giving instead of having.

I hate goodbyes. Lets just not make a big deal out of it shall we? But who am I kidding; goodbyes are goodbyes. But let’s just not worry of what we are about to lose, and cherish this moment we have. Let’s just not take this moment for granted, because for now, its all what we have.

Moufti 

 

 

 

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Who Am I?

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How much can you say about me if you don’t know me? I mean, what is it that defines me as a person? We always want to know who we are. Some of us fail, others succeed, and the rest are left in denial.

I tried to search for things that define me as a person. Is it the color of my wallpaper? Is it the brand of my boxers? Is it the type of my car? Is it how much money I make? Is it the type of friends that I have? Is it the color of my skin? Is it the place that I was born at? Is it my past choices? I couldn’t find an answer, because all the factors I have considered were coming from the outside. I needed something more profound, something I can sense; something that takes part of me. I tried to search within myself, and it was harder than I thought. I tried to search for what makes me happy, and I thought about travelling; travelling makes me happy. But how can travelling define me as a person? Travel is for those who are searching for themselves outside. So I came back to square one.

I wanted to judge myself, but I couldn’t. I mean, who am I to judge myself? I don’t even expect others to judge me. I tried to find something that is powerful beyond human nature. Is it my belief that defines me as a self? Then I remembered how different people have different beliefs, so I couldn’t find that one definite truth that would guide me.

I thought it might be the society. When we are born, the society slowly shapes us, that we don’t even notice it. Some of us choose to conform, while others choose to write their own story. But how can the society define who I am? I mean, listening to that entire BS is a choice, isn’t it? I know for sure that consensus is an illusion; consequently, I know that society does not define me.

I over thought it, I have searched inside out, but I always came back to the bottom. There is a missing piece for the puzzle, and I don’t know if it exists. I thought I might be a combination of all the questions that I ask, but questions remain questions, and i wasn’t looking for questions.

I do not know who I am, but there is one thing that I know for sure, I am that young kid who wants to explore, I am the missing piece of the puzzle.

Moufti 

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